Addicted
by magickismight
Summary: Hermione is addicted to the last person she'd expect to be. Sonfic to I Can't Stay Away by The Veronicas. Has been edited :


**- - Addicted - -**

_This is wrong_

_I should be gone_

_Yet here we lay_

_'Cause I can't stay away_

_Roses bloom_

_In your dirty room_

_I come to play_

_'Cause I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay away-ay_

As I lay in bed beside the man I never thought I'd ever lie in bed beside, I ponder the events that have taken place these past few months. I suppose I'm not in such a bad position. I have someone who loves me and I have almost all my friends. Even though I love being here with him, I still sometimes feel like I really shouldn't be. My mind is telling me one thing and my heart is telling me another.

My heart is saying stay; that this was the place for me to be. It told me that he'd never hurt me, ever. My mind is telling me to get out. My mind is telling me I can't trust him. Even my friends are telling me different things. Harry and Ron were dead set aginst this whole relationship at first, saying that he'd break my heart (even though Ron had no right to be telling me what to do because he's the reason I'm in this mess in the first place). Ron is still dead set against it. Ginny, however, is fine, which surprised me. She just wants me to be happy. Eventually Harry came around and now is happy for me.

So I just laythere, my back against his stomach. I know he's asleep, but I can't. I can't help but wonder if we're breaking any school rules, sleeping together. I guessed not.

_I'm conflicted_

_I inhale now I'm addicted_

_To this place_

_To you babe_

_I can't stay away_

_Can't stay away_

_We get up, we go down_

_Then we go one more round_

_It's wrong, they say _

_I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

I couldn't remember exactly how my relationship with him started. I know that I always kept coming back, though. I always came back to him. For more. Always. I don't even know why. We were supposed to be enemies! That put another thought into my head. I was sleeping with the enemy. Again and again. Every night. But it was like I couldn't leave. I didn't want to. I liked this. I tried to make myself think I didn't. I tried lots of times, but it never worked, because in the back of my mind there was that one thought, the thought I knew was true but I didn't want to admit to myself.

I was addicted to Draco Malfoy.

- - Flashback - -

_I was numb_

_For you I come_

_Night and day_

_And I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay away_

I ran. I ran as fast as I could without looking back. I didn't want to look at any of them. I was tired of being told I was 'too sensitive' and that I was 'overreacting'. It was him who was overreacting. I was just trying to help. That's all I ever do: help. With no thanks at all. He started it ...

_We were in the Gryffindor Common Room. I was sitting on my favorite armchair reading my favorite book (Hogwarts: A History) for probably the eighteenth time. Ginny and Harry were off somewhere, probably snogging but I didn't really want to think about it. Ron and Seamus were on the floor in front of the fire playing Wizard's Chess. I hate that game. It's so much more violent than Muggle chess. And then I remembered._

_"Ron, have you gotten your Charms homework done?" I asked._

_Ron looked up at me. "I'll get it done Hermione," he said._

_I'd heard that one before. "You know, Ron, if you don't get it done in time you'll get a low mark." Like always, I thought._

_"Hermione just because you spend two hours working on a fifty-foot-long essay doesn't mean we all have to."_

_"I didn't say you had to! All I'm saying is, if you don't work hard on it, how are you going to pass your N.E.W.T.s? You know, if you don't pass your N.E.W.T.s you-"_

_"-Won't get a proper job and end up living with mum forever," Ron butted in. "Yes, Hermione, I've heard that speech many times before. Just because you're an enormus book-head doesn't mean we all are." When I didn't say anything he continued. "Even if I don't pass my N.E.W.T.s there are still plenty of jobs out there that don't require a N.E.W.T level in everything. I've checked. I think about my future a lot you know."_

_I raised my eyebrow. "I find that quite hard to beleive ..." I muttered, but Ron heard it. Things kind of just escalated from there. There was a lot of shouting from both me and Ron, and of course Harry and Ginny had to come back and told me to calm down and that I was overreacting. I didn't listen and we just kept on yelling. Most of the people in the Common Room left to go to the dorms, but there was the small crowd who stayed to watch us brawl. I don't know what happened but suddenly we both had our wands out and Harry had stepped in between us. I was ready to lower my wand and put this all behind us when I heard Ron mutter, just loudly enough for me to hear, "Know-it-all Mudblood."_

I know he didn't mean it, but I was just to angry at him to realize it. I ran out of the Common Room. I couldn't look at all my peers, standing around watching us like we were a supporting act at the circus. I just needed to sit somewhere and cry. The Head Common Room wasn't an option. I might run into Malfoy, and that was the _last_ thing I needed. I walked down the flights of stairs, all the way to the Entrance Hall. I went to the darkest corner I could find and slid down the wall, tears streaming down my face.

I hate fighting with Ron, I hate it so much, I thought. I wish we could just get along. I wish he knew how I felt ...

My thoughts were interupted by footsteps coming down the stairs. Oh no, I thought. What time is it? If I'm caught out of bed I'll get detention wether I'm Head Girl or not.

"Hey! What are you doing out of bed?"

Oh damn. That was the last voice I wanted to hear, aside from Ron's.

"I said, what are you doing out of bed?"

"Shove off, Malfoy," I said.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. That'll be five points from Gryffindor for mouthing off to the Head Boy." God I can't stand him, I thought, as he stood there looking so smug.

"I don't care, take as many points as you want. I want nothing to do with the golden Gryffindors," I said bitterly. Malfoy raised his eyebrows. Was it me or did he actually look surprised?

"What happened this time? Have another fight with Weaselby?" He laughed, then stopped when I turned my head away, for I didn't want him to see me crying. I tried to keep my voice steady. "Yes. I did."

"Oh. Well, it couldn't have been that bad. Weaselby fancies you ..." he muttered that last bit but I still heard him.

"He called me a Mudblood," I said quietly. I looked back up at Malfoy. He looked so handsome, with the moonlight behind him illuminating his body, making his eyes stand out from the paleness of his face ... Stop yourself Hermione, I thought. He came over and sat down beside me. I tensed up, wondering why he didn't say any sly remark about the fact that I _am_ a Mudblood.

"It got that bad did it?" he asked me. Why was he being so nice? He looked into my eyes and for a split second I thought I should tell him everything.

So I did.

That happened every night for about three weeks. I'd sneak to wherever he was patrolling on the nights that I wasn't. It was weird, talking to him like he was a person. We avoided each other during the day, but at night it was like we had been best friends for years. One night was different though. Well, not different, exactly. We talked about some of the teachers and our N.E.W.T.s, and what our we hoped our future had instore for us. It was surprising talking to him like that. I liked it. He wasn't to bad looking either. Then, when I was least expecting it, he took his hand and lightly lifted my chin and kissed me. On the lips. In the Entrance Hall. Right there, him and I.

Then I stopped. I realized what we were doing. I was kissing, no, _snogging_ Draco Malfoy.

It was kind of nice.

- - End Flashback - -

_I wish I could _

_Leave and never return_

_Baby, I know I should_

_But for you I'd burn_

There were lots of times during the three months (plus a little) we've been together that I wanted to leave and get away from the relationship. But, I loved him. I still do. Harry and Ginny accepted it after a month of walking in on us in various places: The Head Common Room, Draco's dorm, my dorm, the bathroom. Thank God we were fully dressed ... most of the time. Ron ... well, he didn't accept it, an left the premisiss whenever Draco was around.

So, here I lay with my boyfriend. The Slytherin who I hated for six years. He stirs behind me and I flip over, brushing the hair from his face. He opens his eyes and gives me a soft kiss on the forehead. Even though we've been dating for three months (plus a little) it always makes me melt, the way he just holds me and kisses me like it's no big deal at all. I sigh and snuggle closer.

So what if I was addicted.


End file.
